This day is the hardest day I've ever faced in my life. It's your big 50 and you're not here to celebrate it with us. Why did you have to leave so soon? I've never thought that you would be gone as such a young age. Tears are streaming down my face because I wanted to surprise you and make your birthday special. But I guess I have to wait until I see you in heaven. It's so hard to even wrap around the fact that I can't talk to you or even see your face. I'm so angry right now that I want to kill someone!?! This was supposed to be a happy day but all I feel right now is hurt, anger and frustration. I wonder to myself why would the Lord take you? But then I get that feeling of peace speaking to me as to tell me that you(mommy) was tired and needed to be free from pain and suffering. He knew better than me. And I can't be mad forever for that but it's so hard, mommy. It seemed that you knew your time was near and somehow prepared us in a way that we didn't even recognize it. Mom, you are a special woman with such great love and compassion. I don't know how you dealt with all that bull crap from your family, but if it was me I would of left them long time ago and let them suffer. May the Lord curse them that hurt you and bless those who cared for you. I love you mommy and it's too hard for me to write any more. Please be with me day and every day of my life that i may feel you spirit to comfort my soul. Happy Heavenly Birthday Mommy!!
Love you always.
JayLynn