This morning I got up feeling uneasy, unsure of what Im feeling and confused to why Im feeling out of whack! So I took my medicine, drank some water and sat in bed just thinking about every thing and anything calming to relax my body. Then it hit me. Its been 5 years since the passing my my mom. Wow! Its already been 5 years? Time flew by fast but my heart still feels wounded and hurt as if you just left me. How will I ever heal? Ive tried everything to clear my mind and heart throughout the years to be fine with it but it dosent work for me. Dealing with deppression a big chunck of my life hasnt been to good for me but adding the weight of loosing a loved one especially my Mom couldnt be anymore depressing to handle. Life goes on for everyone and Ive tried to move forward but as I said before its too damn hard. I may look and be positive majority of the time but thats just to hide my true feelings and fustration I have to carry daily. I guess thats my way of moving forward not moving onwards.

Mom I really miss you! You always have the right thing to say to me. Everyone else dont give me the genguine reasurance that you would give to me. I have hope that I can get through life even though its gut renching. Please send angels to me to keep my mind, heart and soul at peace today. Please be with me, Dad, Nita, Jay and Jeri as we live our earthly lives without you. Lord please be with us!