You can never really find yourself just by living everyday doing nothing. Finding yourself is more like an adventure, you need to seek it out. Complaining about it or writing down a check list of stuff you want to do but not doing anything about it because of random lazy excuses won't help you find it. Get up and look your self in the mirror and tell yourself "Do you love yourself?" or "I'm better today because I'm breathing!" or "What can I do to make myself Happy?" or maybe this "What can I accomplished or learn today?". There are many ways to express to yourself to help encourage your self worth and create a healthy mind. We all deal with things differently, but its how we handle it that could cause an effect in our lives or the lives of our loved ones. Self reflecting is good but you might want to take one step at a time to help keep your thoughts on a more steady pace that won't overwhelm you. I know because thats how I felt with my many personal issues that made me felt unwanted, no worth, insecure, unestablished, no accomplishment, no high paying career, no children, unattractive and uneducated. The lists goes on! But you get the point. No one is better than another. They may have more than what you or I may have, but we don't know the inner issues that others may have that we may not be dealing with. My thoughts for anyone dealing with any internal, mental, emotional or physical issues is this...find whats hurting you, seek help, don't hide it and fight it. Talking to someone can help alleviate the depression, troubles or issues that you may be facing. Taking a walk, finding a new talent, excursive, healthier eating or even blogging are many ways to help get your mind clear and help you find yourself and what you want to change in your life. I'm not a professional just a woman who has been through a lot and would like to help anyone who needs a little help from a friend. Yes I am a friend to anyone who needs one. Please excuse my writing, its not the best but I try to make sense of it all. I hope this little blog helps someone out there who is in need of help, encouragement, inspiration, guidance or just someone to talk to. I'm here for you. Take care and know this, you are wanted, you are loved, you matter and you will do great things in this life as you find yourself and the light in this dark world. 

I love you all and God bless you!!

Jay

Hello Everyone!! Its been an awesome week in Fallon!! I love it here!! Fallon is about an hour drive from Reno. It is very different from my last area, Spring Creek. It is very flat, no mountains, its a lot warmer and the homes are closer together. In Spring Creek, everyone is a Miner but here in Fallon everyone works on a Dairy farm or at the Military Naval Base. Its pretty cool cuz there is a lot of military jets that go by. And there are thousands of cows!! 

I love being on a bike! and I love my new companion, Sister Kitchen! She is from Boston, Massachusetts. She is very outgoing, funny and loves to talk! She's awesome! Her dad is in the Air Force so she grew up living all around the world. She doesn't look like it but she is part Native American which is cool haha but shes awesome! 

Well its been an amazing week that has gone by... We had a MIRACLE Baptism! A Chuukese woman who the missionaries including myself having been working with forever finally was able to enter into the waters of baptism this past week! She had been held back because she was staying with her boyfriend but because of her desire to follow the commandments of God she separated herself from him and when we talked to our mission president he said we needed to teach her very clearly what the Law of Chastity is and what it means! So we did she accepted and now she is baptized... Simply amazing! I'm so very happy for her! Anyways that was my week it was a lot of fun and we had an amazing Zone Conference as well and that was very helpful! But yup I can't believe its been this long since I've been on my mission... Well much love thanks for all your guys support OFA LAHI ATU!!!

It's been announced that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has called a new prophet and general presidency. Russell M. Nelson is called to be the 17th President of the LDS faith. Following him is President Dallin H. Oaks as 1st Counselor and President Henry B. Eyring as 2nd counselor.

I'm really excited for these amazing gentlemen to guide the church as the Lord's chosen servants to lead his Church in these last days before his coming. May we continue to stay close to the Lord and heed the counsel of these wonderful, spiritual men and the 12 apostles for many years to come. I'm so grateful to have been a part of this wonderful moment. Yet the spiritual guidances and inspiration flows from this time forth! #blessed

Hello Everyone! Its been quite a week! ! I don't know how to explain it so I copied and pasted my companions email that she wrote to her family and put it here. lol So here it is..

"I hope you have had a great week! Ours was a bit out of the ordinary. As a companionship last Thursday during our weekly planning we decided that we wanted to set the goal of being more positive. It's not that weren't being positive, we just thought that we could do better. Well, Satan happened to get the memo. We did our best and stayed as positive as we could. 

You all saw the beginning of the whole story when our phone broke last week. That was quite the bummer. A few things went down during church on Sunday but we won't go into that. I think that the new Relief Society/Preisthood curriculum will get better as time goes on and we all get used to it. The first big thing this week happened on Monday night. Actually all of monday was a little bit of a drag. Just one bad thing here, another there but it all kind of exploded when we stopped by Marlene's that night. Every other time we stopped by unannounced she was fine. That was one of the only ways we could see her and she always welcomed us in warmly. Well this particular night when we knocked on the door she yelled in a rather scary tone "Who is it?". We said "It's the Sisters!" She then yelled again "Who?" and again very politely we gave the same response. She walked closer to the door and she said "WHO IS IT?" We gave the same response in the same tone of voice. She proceeded to open the door and loose her cool. I will spare you the details but lets just say that it was not pretty and we left feeling like..... well..... not so great. Our hearts just broke. She was so angry and we didn't know what to do or how to react. The next morning we decided to text her and apologize for stopping in unannounced and tell her that we did not mean to offend her in anyway. She responded to that by calling us and again not saying the nicest things, specifically pointing fingers at me and putting words in my mouth. We were heartbroken and are still trying to decide what to do. 

Tuesday morning at district meeting we were informed that our district leader was sent home for a concussion that occurred 5 weeks ago. He relapsed really badly and was having difficulty even staying conscious and making any sense. His companion said it was pretty scary to watch but we are glad that he is at home recovering. Elder Anderson is a great missionary and he was already talking about coming back once he recovers I guess. His companion said that his last words (mind you he was not in his right frame of mind) were "Sister Merrick is saying the closing prayer at district meeting!" Haha We all had a good laugh at that but I did say the closing prayer. 

Wednesday we had another phone adventure. We got through inputting half of our contacts into our new phone and I managed to drop it in a glass of water. The screen went white and we thought for sure I had killed the second phone. But thankfully with lots of prayer and some rice. It turned back on and is still working today. 

The rest of the week was just one of those weeks where we knock on every door that we wrote in our planner and I think we had one person open the door and say that they were not interested.

BUT ENOUGH OF THE BAD!!! We were still positive this week! here is a list of the good to compensate for those bads. 

#1- We had a member give us these really cool blocks with our names on them that their daughter made for us. They are super cool!

#2- Sister Robinson made us homemade curly fried that were really good. 

#3- Monday was mail day so when we dropped the mail off to the Bailey's Sister bailey could just tell that we had been crying and we told her what happened with Marlene and she just hugged us and Brother Bailey said a really cool prayer that brought us a lot of comfort and help us through that night and the next morning. 

#4- Elder Douglas just laughed and said "Sisters, This phone says you are in St.George. That's a little out of your area. Do I need to tell President?" When we called from a members phone about breaking the second phone. 

#5- We stopped by one of our members houses right when she was doing activity days by accident and those girls were so excited. It was really cute! 

#6- Sister Tupuola's family sent me a monkey which we affectionately named "Mr.Shag Nasty" Inside joke. Not telling. Haha

#7- We were able to get the entire ward list put in our phone! 

#8- Our Sunday was so busy and so rewarding! It was great

#9- The weather has been gorgeous these last few days and there have been times we went out walking with no jackets. 

Anyways, that was our crazy week. I could go on for a long time but I won't. Haha It's had it's ups and downs but we got through it and we are stronger because of it. I love this work and I love this gospel and I love you all! Talk to you next week!"

I testify to the words of my companion. Amen! Have a good week!

Tonight was a fun and relaxing time with my husband Mika and brother Henry. We went to the movies to watch The Greatest Showman and I must say this movie left me speechless and emotional. I've always admired musicals, but later in my adult years musicals kind of rubbed me the wrong way or I wasn't feeling it. But this musical left me feeling all sort of emotions. Thoughts ran through my head as I listened to the music and lyrics of the songs and it hit home for me. Even though its based in the 1800's but the music was modern to the point of it being kind of a mix of that era, well sort of. I really enjoyed the story of hardships, love, frustration, envy and any feelings everyone goes through in everyday life. One of the main song This is Me sang by Keala Settle was performed beautifully that it hit my soul because I felt the emotions like it was expressing my life and what I've been going through lately. Another wonderful song that expressed my inner thoughts and feelings called Never Enough expresses my deep feelings to the point of never being good enough or everything I do is never enough for others I care for. The list can go on. But I would say this, you will be uplifted and inspired to better yourself, your life and those around you for the best. I'm a simple person but once in a while I would like to do or be a bit better than what I am. So everyday I try to find the best of everything, which has been on going for 18 years. Others that know me may think other wise but I dont care what  they think of me because its not worth me getting worked up about. This movie truly inspired me more to be the best me and be there for those I care for no matter what. I hope that you all would take the time to watch this wonderful movie. Even if you're not the musical type but give it a try you might like it. 

Okay Jumanji 2 has been out for a few weeks now and I finally went and saw it today. Before watching it, I had mix feelings about it. Wasnt sure if this movie would be a flop or a hit. But after watching it with my husband, I couldnt stop laughing. So many fun moments and quirky humor. My favorite character is acted by Jack Black as the Professor/ Bethany. I couldnt get enough of his hilarious acting as he emulates the attributes of a typiclal teenage girl who is so into herself. Well each characters in this movie was amazing and funny. Cool action scences and beautiful cenimatics. This is a wonderful family movie. You will be entertained. A must watch!! Enjoy!!

Hello Everyone!! It's been yet another great week here in Nevada!

Happy Birthday Baba!

My beloved brother Henry,

I'm thankful that the Lord blessed me to have a brother like you. No one will ever replace you because you are too awesome! Thank you for always being there for me from childhood to now. No matter how old we get, you will always be my twin teddy bear brother that always protect me from everything and anything. May the Lord bless, protect and guide you to have all the joy and happiness in your life always. You always have that special part in my heart always. I love you my amazing brother. Have a wonderful day!

Love always,

your little twin sister,

JayLynn aka Nini

What a sad news today to hear about our beloved Prophet and President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He was a wonderful and amazing man that inspired and helped many for years. Passing today with his loved ones and fulfilling his duties here in earth, which he can now rest easy with his beautiful wife in heaven. I pray for his family for comfort and joy on this sad day. I pray that we can all embrace his examples as he emulated his life of the Saviors. God speed and til we meet again. Love you President Monson!!  

Okay this is something I usually don't talk about on my blogs...personal injuries or health issues. For myself I tend to keep it to myself, but for odd reason I felt like talking about it on here to bring awareness to anyone who needs to be cautious of their bodies. You can be healthy skinny or luscious like myself, but when you're not too care about your feet or ankles, it can really do some damage. So after having a relaxing and fun New Years Day with my husband sisters and their families, I notice something odd happening with my ankle and foot. I thought oh i must of twist it slightly the wrong way and it will heal up real quick in a few hours. Well the pain kept getting worst. Minutes turn to hours, than to days of intense pain which lead into me unable to walk. I've always known about how to heal any muscle pains, because my mom would show us how to treat injuries on ourselves and on others. So i massage, iced and elevated my foot to make it get better, but I felt it made it worst. Thats when I went on YouTube to see if I could find a video to help me pin point in depth what my injury is. That's when I notice that I had Achilles tendonitis. This condition causes swelling and a painful, burning sensation behind the ankle about two inches above the heel. The area may also turn red and feel warm to the touch. Without treatment, scar tissue may build up over time and cause palpable bumps along the tendon. Also I have Plantar fasciitis When the plantar fasciitis is stretched too far its soft tissue fibers become inflamed, usually where it attaches to the heel bone. Sometimes the problem may occur in the middle of the foot. The patient experiences pain under the foot, especially after long periods of rest. Some patients have calf-muscle cramps if the Achilles tendon tightens too.

This is just a few information I got online and thought to share it with you all to be aware of how you walk, stand and do things on a daily on your feet. I know what some of you are thinking, why didn't I go to the doctors to get it checked? Well to be honest, I didn't want to waste time, money and effort to see someone to look at my foot and tell me something that I can do at home or that I already know what to do. I also know my body so well when its something I can't do on my own and need real professional help. Everyone one do things differently when it comes to personal health.
Take care of yourselves and make sure to be aware of your body, because if you're not too careful, you will see signs of internal or external neglects that you need to take care of before it gets worst or deadly. I'm doing my best to stay off my feet and doing all that I can so I can walk comfortably again. We shall see how long this is going to last...I hope not too long!

Whenever you talk with a person, you would think that expressing yourself to another would be a bad thing but sometimes it can also be good. However you take it, conversation can lead into more good talks or more gossips and drama. But I took the start of the year pretty chill and with no expectations. I had a moment where I actually cared about what the future holds for someone else besides me or my husband. I slowly can see what true, genuine conversation with another person can do for my way of thinking or even my own actions. I've always cared for my family and close loved ones, but not to the point to really invest in them and their livelihood. It surprised me how much closeness and similarities I had with this person that I really want the best for them and their future. To some may think that its a no brainer to help or support someone they know really well or even with family, but with the hours of talking and really getting to know a person, you change inside in a whole different type of way. Now reflecting on what my long conversation did to me, I wonder what it really did for that other person. Did I make a little impact or dent in their lives? Was I overbearing or subtle with my thoughts or opinions? Did I make sense? How do they feel about me and what we talked about? I can wonder and think about what had happen that night/day. But I hope that the Holy Spirit guided me, my guardian angels protected me, the Lord to had been with me to inspire or encourage this individual in their dire need of help or enlightenment. Whatever it may be, I hope for the best and I hope for a more spiritual understanding for myself, my family and others who i'm supposed to influence for the better. Don't take advantage of talking to those who are close to you or even to a friend. You will never know the great impact you will have on their lives.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

It's another year and so much to do to make this year better than last. What are your goals, dreams, aspirations, inspirations, desires, resolution for 2018? For me nothing new, just the same ole thing...live a better and happier life than before. I hope all of you, whoever you are, are safe and doing your best to better your life than it was before. Start something new and exciting for once. Try to change your habits, thoughts and goals. You dont have to make it extreme or unrealistic, but something you know it can be achievable. My heart and thoughts goes out to you. Best wishes and luck for a wonderful and safe 2018 wherever you are!!

Much love,

JayLynn